Jeremiah Clarkson


Is The Mazda MX5 A Gateway Car To Paedophilia?

Brexit Jeremiah Clarkson on the Nissan shit storm,

Being a highly acclaimed motoring journalist, I (Jeremiah Clarkson) have been busy conducting my own investigation into the misappropriation of the Mazda MX5. Based on accumulated evidence I can now definitively say that the Mazda MX5 may have become a gateway car, a signature, a billboard sign marking the way to a pedophile network. That is to say that a large majority of Mazda MX5 owners ought to be considered pedophiles. So how did I reach this conclusion? What evidence can I show to prove my case? Well, in journalism conjecture, misleading headlines and lies are considered as evidence without any questions or critical analysis.

Therefore I am going to use my instinct, conjecture and observational analysis (often referred to as bias) as evidence to try and piece together how the MX5 might have become a gateway car for pedophile networks, across the world. During my observations, I noted that Mazda MX5 owners are male, aged between 45 and 65. Why? Many appear to be show-offs and morons, roof down even during a blast of cold weather. Why? I always found this eccentric behavior odd. And I always found it odd why such a car, that no one buys, has lasted so long when ‘normal’ people prefer SUVs.

The MX5 is a dying brand, sells in small numbers and the micro drop-head sports coupe is all but dead. It is a fine driver’s car that may well be propped up by a pedophile network, a call sign for nearby pedos to nod and wink at one another, an automotive flag to signal their detestable existence operating in plain sight. That’s how these sick-minded people work.

I don’t have any evidence to support this belief other than instinct, confusion, and conjecture based on many years of subjective observations. All of which is perfectly admissible evidence in today’s “hang em’ high” media-driven culture. Thankfully being a highly trusted motoring journalist who uses tried and trusted journalistic practices of conjecture and subjective observations I am not alone. Because I know the rest of the conjecture-subjective-based media will have my back.

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