That stupid grille… that stupid, stupid BMW grille. When we first gazed our collective eyes upon it, it looked stupid. And when we studied it in-depth the stupidity of the aesthetics looked stupider still. And then, all of a sudden… POW! it’s looking good. That stupid BMW grille suits the overall design language of the 4 Series Gran Coupe. I can tell you now, we are not shillin’ for BMW, thankfully we have no dealings with the UK press office. A dark angel with sinister and sociopathic career aspirations made sure of that. We are free from external obligations of professionalism, thus we have no filter and say whatever we like.

And we do like the new BMW 4 Series Gran Coupe and would have it over the Coupe any day of the week. Coupes are for selfish people, the only exception being the Audi A5 and Rolls Royce Phantom Drophead Coupe. But I digress. So the BMW 4 Series Gran Coupe isn’t a coupe, more a fastback, a stretched 4 Series Coupe with the practicality of 4 doors and a semi-practical boot. Of course everything is bigger on the outside as it is on the inside. That’s to be expected.

The engine lineup, equipment levels and interior is transferred over from the Coupe like a Photoshop file, so no need to revisit familiar ground. Prices start at £40K, avoid the diesel engines and go with petrol. Modern petrol engines, especially the 2.0-litre 420i are very efficient these days. And I would also add BMW’s xDrive which is marketing speak for AWD.

If your budget can stretch to the M440i xDrive you get access to a silky smooth, straight six, 326bhp, electronically limited 155mph top speed and a 0-62mph in under 5 seconds cruiser. But it will set you back £50K. And if you are able to raid the extras list add the adaptive suspension and electronic differential which are optional for all but the M440i.

The BMW 4 Series Gran Coupe will come loaded with the latest in active and passive safety technology. And even the standard kit is OK for a BMW. But that stupid, stupid BMW grille. How did we end up liking it. Even Jesus can’t forgive this epic backtracking.