Jeremiah Clarkson

, ,

Question: Why is The Mazda MX 5 Bought By Paedophiles?

Brexit Jeremiah Clarkson on the Nissan shit storm,

Mankind has made many discoveries. I say mankind because we-the-men are responsible for the majority of discoveries, an undeniable fact. We the men are bristling with ideas, we are engineers, we are overpaid compared to-the-women, and rightly so. Throughout history, it is Menkind that has answered the most difficult questions known to science. Like making McDonald’s French Fries taste like and have the texture of fried cardboard. Menkind has peered far back into space-time using the Menkind built Hubble Space Telescope. I am not a sexist, I am merely old fashioned, finding my way in this new digital landscape.

Imagine a Dinosaur living a 9-5 job, going to work, catching Covid-19 on public transport, and attending evening raves. Not the life for a Dinosaur for sure. You see, my thinking is not old-fashioned, it is actually far ahead of its time, never to be recognized until it is far too late. But the real question philosophers from Plato to Dr. Brian Cox have never answered is… why is the Mazda MX 5 bought by paedophiles? The MX 5 was designed and engineered by the Menkind for the women. However, far more men buy the MX 5.

I have plenty of subjective evidence to back up my objective statement. For example, I was taking my cat for a walk through my local urbanized town, somewhere in jerk water England, when upon a sudden I noticed a silver-haired man of an elderly disposition driving a Mazda MX 5. I became suspicious and concluded, entirely subjectively, that he (the silver-haired elderly gentleman driving a Mazda MX 5) was indeed a pedophile.

Why would such an individual (a silver-haired elderly gentleman driving a Mazda MX 5) chose the MX 5, roof down, as a mode of transport? What’s wrong with public transportation? It’s because that man is a paedophile. Then I took it upon myself to become more objective about the Madza MX 5 ownership class. Can it really be that the MX 5 has become a secret gateway to the worst of Menkind? a depraved form of initiation?

After much objective observation, I again subjectively concluded that the majority of people who own such a vehicle are middle-aged men. These individuals often drive around with the roof down, even during the rain, searching for a moment to show-off. A quick blip of the throttle, for a thin slice of adulation from someone who doesn’t care.

The Mazda MX 5 is no longer the car of choice for hairdressers, such a narrative was coined by the “dark-state” a group of professionals seeking to hide the true meaning of what the MX-5 actually means and stands for. You have been warned.

Leave a comment

to

Register | Lost your password?