Carwow’s Mat Watson Causes Outrage, Declares The Rolls Royce Phantom is Better Than Jesus

America’s Bible belt is today outraged in what is a day of Christian outrage. Carwow’s Mat Watson has caused controversy by declaring the Rolls Royce Phantom – an inanimate object and as sentient as a zombie slasher movie – is better than Jesus. Praise be the lord hallelujah, Servants of Rolls Royce, sing praise to his name! Let the Rolls Royce name be uplifted, worshipped now and evermore. From the sunrise to its setting let the name of the Rolls Royce Phantom be praised… yes sir!

Actually, we made up this controversy, Mat Watson didn’t say the Rolls Royce Phantom is better than God. He merely said, “I can’t imagine that being in heaven feels any better than being sat in a Rolls Royce Phantom”. Outrageous! heresy! Anyway… the headlines are written in a way to gain more clicks. That’s how the world works these days folks.

But according to our analytics, very few people will read this article. Even our three daily readers, the dog, next-door neighbor’s cat, and Jeff Bezos disapproved of the headlines.


Indeed the cat sat outside looking at us through the window with a discernable frown… all god damn day. He only scarpered off when we threatened to call the RSPCA. But we digress. Is Carwow correct when it says the Rolls Royce Phantom is the finest car in the world? We will never know because for us, that ship sailed a long time ago.


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