This is the all-new Hyundai i10, brought to you by Hyundai. Hyundai sponsors of Chelsea FC. Pricing for the all-new UK spec Hyundai i10 starts from just £12,000… You know what? I think our American cousins are right about one thing. Big car, big engine, power. Small city cars not my personal thing. With one exception, the Mini, I like it, like it a lot. Now if Hyundai could make a small city car to rival the Mini, I would still buy the Mini.

But what has Hyundai given us to rival the Mini? this shitty tin can of a car with its small three-pot engine. There is more power in my food blender than the entry-level i10 SE. Why make such a pathetic car? Yes, it’s cheap to insure, it’s also practical in a sense because it’s an easy car theft target, but is it any better than the Ford Fiesta?

I wouldn’t but either the i10 or the Fiesta, chugging along in what is a bland, derivative, consumer focus group tested, more headroom, more knee room, big door bins, this surprisingly good pile of shitty city car is not for me. This i10 hurts my eyes and my brain… at the same time!

I would say to you dear reader, do not waste your time on this cheap, cheerless car, this shitty city car. The i10, it is uninspiring, dazed and confused, undeserving of any recommendations, a postage-stamp-sized torture chamber, pointless and ambiguous.

The Hyundai i10 isn’t a car, it’s a shitty city car that refuses to change with the times and that’s why it is the worst car of the week.