BMW Concept 4 Reveals New Gigantic Buttock Print Grille
With the BMW Concept 4, the traditional and iconic kidney grille design language has been ditched and in its place is the new look “buttock print” grille. Industry insiders inform us the new BMW “buttock print” grille will be manufactured by a special production technique. It involves getting a fat arse to sit on the grille plate, the pressure of the fat arsed individual then forms the distinctive “buttock print” grille. BMW will be opening a new “buttock print” facility and will be recruiting fat arsed individuals. Being a fat arsed individual, I will be the first in line to apply, journalism doesn’t pay that well folks.
On a more pertinent note, the BMW Concept 4 is a preview of the new 4 Series Coupe. As with all concepts, Concept 4 is part publicity stunt and… part publicity stunt. Only a few elements of the design will make it into the final production version, which surprisingly has yet to be leaked by a disgruntled BMW employee. As is often the case.
We anticipate the next-gen 4-series coupe will be mostly evolutionary in its design language and mechanical engineering. So you will get hybrid, mild hybrid versions and perhaps a 1.0-liter triple-turbo engine. Ignore the triple turbo, it’s an outlandish never-going-to-happen possibility. Word on the street is, the Concept 4 is almost certainly the complete and final look of the new 4 Series.
But the biggest issue with the Concept 4 is that buttock print grille. No designer, be it automotive or otherwise, would ever consider such a form factor. Symmetry and proportions are ideals that are valued by designers. This Concept 4 buttock print grille is a result of focus groups, marketing, and management needs rather than the choice of a designer.
And what you end up with is this Frankenstein design language. The reason why Concepts change during the final production phase is due to manufacturing costs. The rear wing, for example, looks like a very costly production process because some form factors are more costly/time-consuming to manufacture than others.
So to reduce time costs, BMW will go for a toned-down look for the next generation 4 Series. Unfortunately, that buttock print grille may well make it past the finish line.
So if this buttock grille is offensive to you don’t blame the BMW designers they are probably privately embarrassed. The giant BMW buttock grille is aimed at American and Chinese audiences who believe a massive grille is a sign of status and success.
Indeed it reminds me of those Oceanic tribes who consider painting their teeth black is a sign of maturity, beauty, and of civilization. And what else is unusual is we haven’t mentioned BMW is premium luxury rubbish.
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