The Range Rover Velar Super SUV With A Stupid Ass Name

Range Rover Velar SV Autobiography Dynamic Edition,

As our personal war with Land Rover continues we are now at a new phase. We have moved into a guerilla warfare campaign. This will be a hard fought battle. With limited resources, our small but specialized tactical unit is in a state of advanced preparations. Intel has revealed that the Range Rover Velar is to be offered in super SUV trim. The SV Autobiography Dynamic Edition.

Most of us here at DCB are or have been Land Rover owners. They are gobshite unreliable vehicles and spend most days in the work shop. As opposed to normal vehicles that actually spend most time on the roads.

The war with Land Rover is unyielding. It will never end… unless we end. Yet there is time to halt, to call a truce, to play football. Together.

But this isn’t the trenches, it isn’t the First World War. It is the Turd World War.

But we will take the time to play that football game because we conduct ourselves with honor.

We shall take time to enjoy the Range Rover Velar SV Autobiography Dynamic Edition.

Yes it is a stupid ass name, and sure it will be unreliable as hell.

However, our attention is temporarily drawn to the 5.0-litre petrol engine. It will give Velar life of 500bhp.

Range Rover Velar SV Autobiography Dynamic Edition, side view,

And for ever how long the Velar SV Autobiography Dynamic Edition is reliabile, we’ll take it.

The Velar SV Autobiography Dynamic Edition is loaded with driver enhancing tech.

Electronic Active Differential, steering, Adaptive Damper tune, anti-roll-bars, and Dynamic Stability Control.

This super SUV sits on 21-inch alloys, it looks mean and is our favorite, if predictably unreliable, Range Rover.

The Velar SV Autobiography Dynamic Edition is priced from £86,120 OTR in the UK.

And now the game of “football” is over. We now descend to the trenches to plan the next phase of this catastrophic warfare with Land Rover.

Warfare, like all warfare, is ultimately grounded in meaningless madness.

And all because one person was deemed more important than the entire organization’s reputation.

We will only rest until we have complete victory.

(we should have quit this business a long time ago)


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